#LoveMe – getting something right

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

I hate how hard this particular post is. It’s that flaw of human nature where we are more likely to focus on the negative than the positive in our lives. A million compliments can be derailed by one snide remark. A beautiful day can be marred by one negative action. So concentrating on something I’ve done right is actually, depressingly, difficult.

I think the thing I’ve done right in my life is deciding to go back to uni after graduating. My degree in Creative and Professional Writing was fantastic and helped me to be a better writer, although I don’t write nearly as much as I would like to. But I feel like continuing my studies in order to one day become a psychologist and eventually help people with their issues, will be more fulfilling. For me personally. Plus, I hope to combine the two degrees and use creative writing as therapy for clients one day. Writing is already so cathartic that using it to hopefully help in similar ways that music and art therapy help people, would be wonderful.

I think that is something that I’ve definitely done right in my life.

 

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#LoveMe – overcoming fears

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

Thinking back, I honestly don’t believe I’ve conquered that many of my fears. I’ve done things that were a bit scary but I wasn’t scared at the time of doing them. Moving to a brand new city when I was nineteen by myself was fine because I had mates up here already. Leaving everything familiar in that city to move to Canberra four years later was fine because I moved in with family and I knew I needed space.

None of those things felt like overcoming fears because they aren’t my fears. Does that make sense?

What I will say is that I’m getting better at standing up for myself, telling people when they hurt me, and explaining what it is I need from people at any given point, be that space or support. I used to take on a lot by myself and not let anyone else into how I was feeling when those feelings were anything less than happy. I hated crying in front of people because I kind of felt like it was a kind of weakness.
I’m getting better at vocalising things, because if someone makes me feel in anyway negative, that’s not necessarily my problem. It is not necessarily my fault, and that was a big thing to realise.

So I guess the fear I’ve conquered is the fear that if I am in anyway not 100% happy at all times, people will think I’m too much work and will leave.

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#LoveMe – share a quote

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

I was trying to think of a quote that would kind of sum up everything for this post. How I feel about myself, the world, and everything in between. But I realised I was aiming too high. So, instead, I decided to choose a quote that kind of followed on from yesterday’s theme of flaws.

This quote comes from S1E10 of Castle, called “A Death in the Family”:

Castle: What are you doing? Are you trying to give her body image issues?
Martha: Newsflash — she already has body image issues. It’s an intrinsic part of being a woman. Every woman in the world has some part of herself that she absolutely hates. Her hands are too small, her feet are too big, her hair is too straight, too curly, her ears stick out, her butt’s too flat, her nose is too big and, you know, nothing you can say will change how we feel. What men don’t understand is, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right makeup it just…it hides the flaws we think we have. They make us look beautiful to ourselves. That’s what makes us look beautiful to others.
Castle: Used to be all she needed to feel beautiful was a pink tutu and a plastic tiara.
Martha: And we spend our whole lives trying to feel that way again.

Now, of course, anyone can have body image issues. Men, people who are genderfluid, gender neutral, trans, and anyone else who I may have forgotten (and for that, I apologise profusely). But I think the take away here is that we do have ways to make us see the beauty in ourselves that others may already see. And that is the important part.

 

 

 

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#LoveMe – share a flaw

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

This is going to be a tough one. Not because I think I’m flawless, but because I think I’m heavily flawed. What I want to do, though, is not focus on a physical flaw. There’s a lot of those I could focus on, but I’ve been doing that for my entire young adult life. There’s always something that’s too big, too small, too weirdly shaped. So, instead, I want to focus on something intangible.

I think one of my bigger flaws is a defence mechanism that I’ve developed over the years. Basically, it comes in two parts.
1. I can’t actually name the reasons why I’m feeling a particularly way at the time I’m feeling it. If I’m upset, I may not be able to explain why for hours or days afterwards. It makes the whole “how can I help, what have I done?” conversation incredibly difficult, and;
2. I may not have an emotional reaction to a thing until much later. In that, something might upset me but I won’t know until time has passed. So I think I’m coping really well and then I start falling apart when most other people might be coming to terms with whatever’s been happening.

I don’t know how or why I developed this defence mechanism, but it’s something I would love to break. I just kind of wish I knew how

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#LoveMe – Smile!

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

I had a good night last night. A pretty routine Friday evening turned into a wonderful Friday night where I went out and did something I don’t usually do. It felt good. But then after I got home the night took a definite downturn and now, sitting here, I’m just feeling a little bit bleh. So it was pretty good timing for the post for today to be about smiling.

There’s a psychological study that says that smiling, no matter what you’re feeling, can elevate your levels of the happiness hormone and actually make you feel better. And since, right at this moment, I’m feeling sleep deprived and a little down, I decided to spontaneously take a photo right now. The photo below is how I look at this moment. No filter, no make up. That’s just me.

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#LoveMe – share a secret

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

I don’t really have secrets. Not like the ones you see on TV or in movies or books. I have things I don’t tell people, but I wouldn’t call them secrets because it wouldn’t be the biggest of deals if people find out about these things. It just wouldn’t be particularly pleasant for one reason or another.

But, in the spirit of the challenge, I think I’ll share a fear that I don’t particularly like to talk about.

Day to day, hour to hour, sometimes even minute to minute, I’m terrified that I’ve made the wrong decisions; that I’ve done something that put me down the wrong path or not done something that could’ve set me down the right one. Because of this, I think I have a bit of a fear of commitment. Not in the way that I never want to be in a long term relationship or anything like that, I’ve been in two. But I’m always just that little bit terrified that I’ve made the wrong decision in who I choose or don’t choose.
It can get a little bit paralysing sometimes. If you are scared to make a decision, you usually let the opportunity pass you by and that in and of itself is a decision, and usually the wrong one.

I’m trying to work on this particular fear. There’s no way of knowing if you’ve made the right decision or whether something is a mistake until you make the choice. So it’s usually better to just do the thing.

What’s that thing? You are more likely to regret the things you didn’t do rather than the things you did.

I don’t want to be scared to have regrets anymore.

 

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#LoveMe – something beautiful to come your way

 

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  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

There are so many ways I could talk about beauty in this particular post. Music, people, actions, words, paintings, films. How do I choose just one?

I think I’ll cheat. I think I’m going to choose a music video by one of my favourite artists. Ed Sheeran. I love him. I think his music is heart-warming, or heart-wrenching depending on your mood. I think his lyrics are impeccable. And I think his music videos are some of the very few in mainstream media that tell stories.
“Thinking Out Loud” is one of my favourite songs. It is a love song about the longevity of love, not just that intense first rush. It’s about wanting to spend your life with someone for the little things, not just because you’re caught up in the vividness of youth (I say as a twenty-five year old haha).

I implore you to watch this video. Sheeran has a thing for the show Strictly Ballroom and so guess what he got to do in this clip? He got to dance. The dancing plus the story of the lyrics and the curlicues of the melody makes this music video, in my eyes, exquisite.

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