- Why are you doing #LoveMe?
- A photo of you
- A word that describes you
- A person who loves you
- A note to the past you
- A note to the future you
- One thing that’s just for you
- Share a scar
- Share something beautiful
- Share a secret
- Share a smile
- Share a flaw
- Share a quote
- Share a fear you overcame
- Something you have done right
- Something you like about yourself
- Something that feeds your soul
- Something that feeds your brain
- Something you feel strongly about
- Something you love to wear
- Something you are proud of
- What makes you unique?
- What is your best feature?
- What makes you happy?
- What makes you laugh?
- What makes you feel beautiful?
- What have you accepted about yourself?
- What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?
This is going to be a tough one. Not because I think I’m flawless, but because I think I’m heavily flawed. What I want to do, though, is not focus on a physical flaw. There’s a lot of those I could focus on, but I’ve been doing that for my entire young adult life. There’s always something that’s too big, too small, too weirdly shaped. So, instead, I want to focus on something intangible.
I think one of my bigger flaws is a defence mechanism that I’ve developed over the years. Basically, it comes in two parts.
1. I can’t actually name the reasons why I’m feeling a particularly way at the time I’m feeling it. If I’m upset, I may not be able to explain why for hours or days afterwards. It makes the whole “how can I help, what have I done?” conversation incredibly difficult, and;
2. I may not have an emotional reaction to a thing until much later. In that, something might upset me but I won’t know until time has passed. So I think I’m coping really well and then I start falling apart when most other people might be coming to terms with whatever’s been happening.
I don’t know how or why I developed this defence mechanism, but it’s something I would love to break. I just kind of wish I knew how
My Infernal Imagination 
I kinda wonder how that defense mechanism came about in the first place. My problem is that I react too quickly. I wear my heart on my sleeve which really isn’t a good thing in a lot of ways.
I think a balance between the two is good. But too much of either can be problematic.
I also think it may have stemmed from a toxic relationship I had in my late formative years. If I was having a bad day or a problem and wanted to discuss it, they always said “I have had the worst day, can we do this later?”. So I became adept at “doing it later”. 😦
That makes sense. Obviously, it didn’t help you one bit though. 😦
Maybe at the time, but I don’t need it anymore 😦
Oh this is interesting Bec. I can relate a little in that sometimes I feel maudlin or grumpy and I can’t quite put a finger on why. It’s like there’s this thing in the back of my mind impacting on everything else and I can’t let it go. (Whatever it may be!)