#LoveMe – share a flaw

header-image-for-loveme

  1. Why are you doing #LoveMe?
  2. A photo of you
  3. A word that describes you
  4. A person who loves you
  5. A note to the past you
  6. A note to the future you
  7. One thing that’s just for you
  8. Share a scar
  9. Share something beautiful
  10. Share a secret
  11. Share a smile
  12. Share a flaw
  13. Share a quote
  14. Share a fear you overcame
  15. Something you have done right
  16. Something you like about yourself 
  17. Something that feeds your soul
  18. Something that feeds your brain
  19. Something you feel strongly about
  20. Something you love to wear
  21. Something you are proud of
  22. What makes you unique?
  23. What is your best feature?
  24. What makes you happy?
  25. What makes you laugh?
  26. What makes you feel beautiful?
  27. What have you accepted about yourself?
  28. What have you learned from doing #LoveMe these past twenty-eight days?

This is going to be a tough one. Not because I think I’m flawless, but because I think I’m heavily flawed. What I want to do, though, is not focus on a physical flaw. There’s a lot of those I could focus on, but I’ve been doing that for my entire young adult life. There’s always something that’s too big, too small, too weirdly shaped. So, instead, I want to focus on something intangible.

I think one of my bigger flaws is a defence mechanism that I’ve developed over the years. Basically, it comes in two parts.
1. I can’t actually name the reasons why I’m feeling a particularly way at the time I’m feeling it. If I’m upset, I may not be able to explain why for hours or days afterwards. It makes the whole “how can I help, what have I done?” conversation incredibly difficult, and;
2. I may not have an emotional reaction to a thing until much later. In that, something might upset me but I won’t know until time has passed. So I think I’m coping really well and then I start falling apart when most other people might be coming to terms with whatever’s been happening.

I don’t know how or why I developed this defence mechanism, but it’s something I would love to break. I just kind of wish I knew how

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About Bec Graham

Bec Graham, 24, was born on the wrong continent. Everything from her burns-like-paper skin tone to her inability to cope with the slightest hint of a hot day suggests she should have been born under the gloomy skies and mild sun of the UK. She hopes writing will get her to her rightful home one day. Failing that, she scans the skies for a spinning blue police box, hoping to catch a lift back to the motherland.
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5 Responses to #LoveMe – share a flaw

  1. Tony Single says:

    I kinda wonder how that defense mechanism came about in the first place. My problem is that I react too quickly. I wear my heart on my sleeve which really isn’t a good thing in a lot of ways.

    • Bec Graham says:

      I think a balance between the two is good. But too much of either can be problematic.

      I also think it may have stemmed from a toxic relationship I had in my late formative years. If I was having a bad day or a problem and wanted to discuss it, they always said “I have had the worst day, can we do this later?”. So I became adept at “doing it later”. 😦

  2. Deborah says:

    Oh this is interesting Bec. I can relate a little in that sometimes I feel maudlin or grumpy and I can’t quite put a finger on why. It’s like there’s this thing in the back of my mind impacting on everything else and I can’t let it go. (Whatever it may be!)

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