If you love me let me go

Everybody, apparently, has that one song that sums up their entire lives. Or a movie. Or even a book. For me, I have never had that. I don’t think that makes me weird . But to be honest, I never felt the need to associate myself with someone else’s artistic product. There have definitely been songs that have complimented my mood and made me feel better just by listening to it. And hell, I’ve broken down in tears on my bedroom floor listening to “Why Georgia” by John Mayer. But nothing has ever come out and spoken to me in a way that said “Hey, Bec, you know that shit you’re going through? Well I’m/we’re going through it to. Just listen.” And I never felt as though that was something that I was lacking. But I get it now. I really do. There’s something infinitely comforting about the idea that someone relatively famous and successful has felt just as down, and just as lost as you have.

My life has gotten a tad complicated. I’m not going to go into the gory details because everyone has their cross to bear. And hey, a lot of people have it so much worse than me. But basically, at the moment, my life is like that horrible Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn Movie The Break-up. But a lot less black-and-white. I have forgotten the majority of that movie because it was so awful, but the gist is a couple still have to live together after they have broken up. Translate that to real life and you have a bit of a mess. No one can afford to go anywhere, no one knows where they stand, and so no one knows how to act.

The thing is, though, that this is simply a transitional period. And it’s the time before change that is sometimes the hardest. Once you’re in the middle of a move, or a new degree, or a new career path, the choices have been made. All that’s left to do is deal with the consequences. But before that is the time where you have the knowledge that life is going to change hanging over your head while you’re trying to live your old life. And it gets confusing. A lot of “Am I doing the right thing?”, “Can I do this?”, “Would it be easier to take it all back?”. But sometimes it is the people in your life that show you that no matter how hard your present is, your future will only be better if you stick with it.

This is a whole bunch of rambling, I know. And I apologise profusely for that. So I’ll end with this: music has always helped me get over the hurdles in my life, whether I’m crawling or leaping over them. So here are a few of the songs that are keeping me on the “straight and narrow” as it were, so that I come out the other side, looking at a future that I actually want.

Playlist for my Present

This is Gospel – Panic at the Disco


Grow Up – Paramore


Ain’t it Fun – Paramore

About Bec Graham

Bec Graham, 24, was born on the wrong continent. Everything from her burns-like-paper skin tone to her inability to cope with the slightest hint of a hot day suggests she should have been born under the gloomy skies and mild sun of the UK. She hopes writing will get her to her rightful home one day. Failing that, she scans the skies for a spinning blue police box, hoping to catch a lift back to the motherland.
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